Not so long ago there were almost a half a million wild lions roaming African plains. Today, less than 25,000. The world is changing so fast that our grandchildren may very well know lions (and many other big mammals) as an extinct species. It's hard to wrap the mind around that. The heart, harder still. So we turn away from it, as if we misheard it, and continue about our day.
Last night I was quite upset about this, as I have been for the last few days (and years and a life time, really.) And I asked The Brad what we could possibly do? We can't throw millions at any organization or buy up the land the animals live on. We can't pack up at this time in our lives and stand up to poachers or land-takers. We can get off the grid, said The Brad. Little by little. As we are able. Taking less and giving more. A solar house, more food grown and raised on our own land.
In the meantime, I live in a small town and I need light bulbs. I go to the local "commercial" grocery where I almost never go. I stare at my choices. $2 for 4 grocery brand "normal" bulbs or $8 for 2 "energy efficient" bulbs. I stand there for over 10 minutes. Really. Am I going to spend $8 because I think it's my personal responsibility to do so? I feel culpable if I don't. $8 light bulbs become a punishment to myself for not stocking up on a cheaper "environmentally friendly" brand when I had the chance. (And where would I have had the chance? Ikea? A company that is known to be environmentally conscious but by the same token creates so much throw-away furniture that the good ol' Billy Bookshelf must account for 1/2 of the space in our landfills? I'll be the first to admit that I'm guilty of a Billy in the landfill.)
It takes planning to be kind to the earth and its inhabitants. I'm not a big meat-eater. But my family does eat meat. I won't buy it if it isn't ethically raised. If it's a few dollars more and The Brad shakes his head at me, I shake mine back at him. To me, a few bucks more is very little when it comes to knowing the animals were raised organically and humanely. If I don't buy it in order to start bringing the price down, who will? (Our local corner gourmet market started then stopped carrying organic meat because not enough people bought it.)
We raise our own chicken and duck eggs and I garden as much as I can with the small space we have. We thrift-shop. Buy quality organic. Go to the local Farmers Market. Re-use. Recycle. We do it as much as we can. But our great animals are still dissapearing. Or course. It starts so long before that. People eat bush meat because that's what is free and available. Sell hides and tusks to feed their families. People need to eat and live, so land is cleared. It gets complicated. So complicated. Still, there must be another way.
I cry to my mom on the phone in my worst moments. Or maybe they are my best moments. When I feel so sensitive to it all that I almost implode. She understands more than anyone. Says in her calm and soothing voice: The world is changing. We can't go back. Only forward.
Damn it. I want to bite the hand of the universe, just like a lion. How can it spin on in this way knowing such beauty is suffering, disappearing. Can't it just shake off all the people who don't care, don't understand, don't even try? Let them go floating around in outer space until they learn to feel the connection with every blade of grass.
But no. The world is changing. Our planet is getting heavier.
I didn't buy any light bulbs that day. I got confused and mad at the grocery store. A few rooms stayed a little darker than usual. Didn't seem to bother anyone too much.
Here's what it boils down to: we can't go back in time and fix our mistakes. And habits can be broken. Period. We can learn from the mistakes of our past and move forward in a different way. We may be doing it without wild lions one of these days. (And there is nothing anyone can say to me to take that sting away.) How can we make a difference in our own little lives? By sticking to our decisions. By cutting through our fears and questioning our beliefs about ourselves and the world we live in.
Ok. Recycling. That's easy in most parts. Growing foods and/or eating seasonally and local. Searching out thrift stores, local artisans and antique stores first instead of mass-production chains or mainstream shopping malls. Walking more, driving less. I could really go on here.....we've heard all of them! But. These things can't be important in one moment and not in the next. It has to be a way of life. So, I re-commit to these small things every day. Sometimes it feels like it does nothing... But I won't believe that thought anymore. No. I won't believe that thought anymore. Because if I do, I'm still a part of the problem. 
artwork by sandra dieckmann
photos from pinterest.
