I don't know exactly why, but I've always held onto a very playful part of myself. During the worst times of my life, when that playful part of me was buried, I was not right at all. In fact, when I met The Brad, soon after turning 30, I was the oldest I've ever been. I had just come through years of painful, personal challenge and I was raw as a badly skinned knee.
I will never forget sitting at my kitchen table with The Brad right after we very first met, the both of us laughing so hard about one silly thing after another. It felt like years since I had been my naturally goofy self and it was instantly apparent that he shared my sense of humor. He sat across the table from me, somehow seeing my true essence beneath the layers of confusion and pain, and I began to grow younger. A few days later, Brad walked to my book case, pulled all the self-help books off the shelves and told me: you don't need these anymore.
I don't know if there is such a thing, but I'm not going to be a "normal" 40-year-old. I just somehow doubt there are many 40-year-old wives who chant things such as: "Na na na na na you are poo- poo head." to their husband on a somewhat regular basis. Sometimes when The Brad comes downstairs from his office for a second cup of coffee and a cookie, if I'm even just slightly irritated with him for anything at all, I'll wait for him to put the cookie down on a plate and then hide it when his back is turned. If he doesn't have a cookie, I'll hide the cup of coffee, the iPhone, etc...Then I'll leave the room. Soon enough I can hear him laughing while swearing and saying with slight disbelief: I married a 4-year-old.
Yep. It's what keeps me young. The antics. I was like this before I had children and I'll hopefully be like this when my children have children. Anyone who knows me well can tell you that this is true about me and that I'm also serious and introspective. I'm a four-year-old with a big happy heart, a slightly tough edge here and there, and the occasional mild existential crisis.
If you want a visual, think small. The Brad often looks at me, shakes his head and says, "I married a legal midget!" (I don't know what he means by legal. I wasn't aware that extremely short people were otherwise against the law.) Anyway, it's true that I barely pass the 5 ' mark. (I'm more than 1 ft. shorter and about half the weight of my husband.)
So. The legal midget is hitting 40 this week. And I don't get what the big deal is. If we're lucky, it happens to all of us. I'm just a babe, as far as I'm concerned. Toddling along in an amazingly beautiful and, yes, often mysterious world.
I look out the window and see the trees and birds hanging out in the gentle end of last nights windstorm. Nature simply does not look confused or let down at all. So why should I ever be ?
Last night, after a long day, after a long week, in the middle of a busy month, Brad and I watched our funny little three year old rock out to Christmas Carols as if she were listening to Def Leppard. Brad was still working and just paused in the kitchen for a quick dinner. As he got up to leave, he looked at me, the 5-year-old on my lap, the Christmas tree and the rocking three-year-old and said: This is sure worth all the work. Exactly.
This is awesome and I am so blessed. Thank you universe for giving me this wonderful life. I'd promise to get younger every year, but since I'm only 4, I think I'd better stop here.
*****
If you would like to help me celebrate my birthday, I am asking that readers donate to this wonderful cause: The Elephants Umbrella Fund, a non-profit created and run by a passionate woman in her 90's (who still goes to visit the elephants in Asia she has saved). In brief, this org. buys ill-treated Asian elephants one at a time from their abusive owners (who use the elephants for logging or tourism). The elephants that are saved are always in need of great care and often on the brink of death. They are brought to a sanctuary where they can get medical care and peacefully live out the rest of their lives. As you know, in situations like these, any dollar amount helps. And as you know, I'm a big time elephant lover. This is how I feel about elephants:
As for me, I will be taking the rest of the week off to enjoy my family and the holidays (and finish those darn knitted gifts!) I send you so much love and joy this Holiday Season! Thanks for reading. See you sometime next week.
xoxoxo
C.
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