Well...yes. I do get things done sometimes, shall we say. But...I know what you're wondering: what is the exact process her brain goes through when she does these things? Well, I am going to share with you what it's like to be me in one of these situations. Because it's not pretty. The following is a conversation between me and myself:
Me: What are you doing?
Also Me: Looking on Craigslist at ducks.
Me: Ummm. Ahem. Why? May I ask?
Also Me: You know why.
Me: Yes, I do know why. What will Brad say if...
Also Me: ..LOOK! Quackless ducks! I knew it! I've heard about these guys...they're called Muscovys. Two "teen" females need a home and just live an hour away! And they will deliver the ducks to our home! If that isn't meant to be, I don't know what is.
Me: Oh boy...you're really going to do this? What will Brad say?
Also Me: Who? Hey- you know how sad I was when we had to get rid of our other ducks because they were too noisy. I've never really gotten over it. [sniff, sniff]
Me: Was that really the only problem? The noise factor? I mean, let's take a deep breath and think this through for a second...
Also Me: Crap.
Also Me: These photos of quackless ducks look kind of ugly.
Me: Cool. Game over. Let's go get some lunch.
Also Me: Hey- how would you feel if you were posted on Craigslist and no one wanted you because you had a few physical issues. These darlings need a home! And..wait...hold on....only the males are really weird-looking. The females are actually really cute!
Me: That's because they are still adolescents. Trust me, they'll get uglier.. Ugly ducks are bad for our "cute and farmy" image. Catastrophic, in fact! Don't do this, I'm warning you! I don't want to be the one to say I told you so...This could end in tears!!!! You'll be sorr...
Also Me: Quiet! I'm trying to contact this person about the ducks.
Me: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Also Me: But you are me.
Me: Yeah, that's the problem.
So. Here they are. And you know what? They're cute, sweet, they don't quack, and you know what I say to that other part of me? I say this: You don't get any of my delicious baked goods when these sweet, beautiful things start laying eggs.